Okaaaaay....
by DramaticalCat
Summary: Just a dose of insanity...author bored....characters pay...the usual.


A girl with brown hair and one too many freckles steps onto a black stage wearing a blue sweater and blue jeans. She waves at the camera nervously, smiling.  
  
***Um, hey…Um…My name is…well, all you people on the 'Net who know me or read my fics would know me as DramaticalCat. Just call me DC. Anyway***  
  
She runs a hand through her hair, and puts her hands in her pockets, and shrugs.  
  
***I'm bored, and I'm going to make people suffer***  
  
She looks around, and then smiles evilly at the camera.  
  
***Let the fun begin***  
  
The scene suddenly disappears, but DC's voice is heard. The scene is all white.  
  
***Okay, let's see what we can do here…***  
  
The scene suddenly changes to Spike's crypt.  
  
***Nah, we'll torture him later***  
  
The scene changes into Xander's apartment, where Xander is standing in the middle of the room. He looks around, confused.  
  
***Hi Xander!***  
  
"Um, hi?" Xander looks behind the camera, assumedly at DC. "What are all the camera people doing here? Who are you?"  
  
***Your worst nightmare, MWHAHA!***  
  
"Right…"  
  
***I'm bored…let's see…Oz!***  
  
Oz suddenly appears next to Xander, and this time, his hair is died black. He looks at Xander, and raises and eyebrow. "Uh…hey man…where am I?"  
  
"My new apartment, or not so new, but it's my apartment."  
  
"Oh, cool," said Oz, nodding, and he looks beside the camera. "Who's she?"  
  
***A bored fan fiction author***  
  
"Oh, I hear those are dangerous," he says to Xander, eyeing DC warily. The camera swivels around to look at DC, whom is smiling evilly. Behind her your see what it would look like behind a movie set. You see Joss Whedon tied up and gagged behind her, while DC's evil minions (frog and chicken people) dance around him. The camera swivels back to face Oz and Xander.  
  
***Now, what do to…um…here***  
  
Piper from 'Charmed' suddenly appears there, smiling. "Hi, I'm the Pumpkin Hen!" she said, and shook her self. "I didn't want to say that. Where am I?" She looks at Xander and Oz. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Oz, this is Xander, and the reason why you said you were the Pumpkin Hen was because of her," explained Oz, and pointed to beside the camera at DC, and Piper follows his gaze. "She's a FF.Net author, and she made you say that."  
  
"Oh, those," said Piper, nodding. "Those things are scary."  
  
***I'm not a thing…but I as scary. Meh, still bored, SPIKE!***  
  
Spike suddenly appears, wearing is usual trademark outfit. He looks around, and then sees DC and groans. "Not her again," he sighs, and looks at Piper, then at Oz. "Hey Wolf-Boy, who's the bird?"  
  
"My name is Piper," said Piper, glaring at Spike who winks back.  
  
***Okay, now…let's have fun!***  
  
The group suddenly appears in Antarctica, all in summer clothes. Oz, Xander and Spike are all wearing blue board shorts and sunnies, and Piper wear's a bright yellow bikini and a sun hat. All three humans start shivering violently, hugging themselves, while Spike stands there calmly, taking off the sunnies. He looks up, noticing that the sun isn't hurting him. "Ha! Plot-hole."  
  
"Can we get b-back to m-my a-apartment-t?" asked Xander, teeth chattering. "Please?"  
  
***Aww, you look so pathetic…okay!***  
  
They appear back in Xander's apartment, still wearing the summer dress. "That was fun," said Piper sarcastically. "How about we don't do that, eh?"  
  
"I like her idea," said Oz, brushing snow off his arms.  
  
***Um…KABAM!***  
  
Xander suddenly turns into Cordelia in a tiny black dress, Spike turns into Buffy in a white midriff and tiny blue shorts, and Oz turns into the every- so-slutty vampire Willow. Piper arches an eyebrow at the three. "Good look boys."  
  
They don't notice, and they look at Piper confusedly. Spike/Buffy spoke up. "Huh?" he/she asked, and squeaked. "My voice! Gah!" Xander/Cordy, Spike/Buffy and Oz/Vamp Wills looked down at themselves and freaked. Freaked, meaning, they started yelling, but then stopped, and were rather amused, but a bit shaken up by their lack of penises. Spike/Buffy took the liberty of looking down the his/her top and smiling happily, while Oz/Vamp Wills checked himself/herself out in the mirror. "Plot-hole. If I'm a vamp, I wouldn't be bale to see in the mirror."  
  
***…Um, I think that's about all we had time for***  
  
Everyone turns back into themselves and what they were before. Piper looked accursedly at DC behind the camera. "That was utterly pointless!"  
  
***But fun***  
  
"Yeah, let's do it again!" said Spike and Xander in unison, sarcastic.  
  
***Grr…***  
  
The two start making out heavily, and seem to be unable to stop. Oz and Piper glance at each other, and suddenly disappear as DC got bored of them. Suddenly, orchestra-style music that sounded like a demented cross-over of the Buffy and Charmed theme song gone classical wells up, and blue curtains close over the scene, and the music stops, and an ensemble of voices that sound eerily like frogs and chickens sing. "Where do we go from HEEEEERE?!"  
  
End 


End file.
